An Open Letter to Baby Knowles-Carter

Dear Baby Carter,

It’s Rembert. We need to talk.

This is your mom.

This is your dad.

Mom
Dad
She’s gonna drop you off at school.
He’s picking you up.
Bad cop.
Good cop.

Stomach Massages.
Back Massages.

They are really excited for your arrival.

So are we.

I don’t know if you have any say in the matter, but if they name you Christ Carter, I’m going to be the proud owner of a 2004 Jeep Grand Cherokee. So yeah, I dunno… perform some miracles while you’re in the crib for the next 8.5 months.

Help a non-Carter out.

All the best,

Your favorite play cousin, Rembert.

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About Rembert Browne

NYC via ATL //// rembert.browne@gmail.com 500daysasunder.wordpress.com
This entry was posted in 10 Most Popular, Rando, Really Rando. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to An Open Letter to Baby Knowles-Carter

  1. danielle says:

    Oh the classic play cousin… I would personally go for the play aunt role but that’s just me.

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