Top 10 Ideas I created in 2005 that Kanye stole in 2010

I think it’s pretty self-explanatory.

In 2005, I was a Senior in High School/Freshman in College and was consistently bringing my A game. I was behaving in ways that, to this day, I’m impressed by. The downside to trailblazing is having your ideas stolen in the future by someone who fails to give credit where credit is due.

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet Kanye West.  Dude is mad rude and owes everything good that happened to him this year to me.  Everything.

10. Giving Away Free Stuff on Fridays

I wont lie, G.O.O.D FRIDAYS was the highlight of my week for about 2 straight months. The song “Good Friday” with Kanye, Legend, Big Sean, Pusha T, and Charlie Wilson was possibly my most listened to song in the 2nd half of 2010.  With all of that said, this was in no way an original idea of Yeezy. He knows and I know exactly where this came from.

“Good Frieddays” is what I called it.  Every Friday, from 3am-4am, I stood on the corner of Ponce de Leon and Briarcliff and handed out fried goodies to passer-byes.  Mostly Sometimes it was chicken.  Other times it was onion rings or french fries or okra.  One time it was a stapler.  No matter what it was, the people were happy and I was happy.  I guess word spread to Kanye and I guess the rest is history.  Very rude, Yeezy.

9. Wearing Red on Red on Red

I went through this entrepreneurial phase of trying to start a clothing line in 2005.  For some reason, I thought there was a gap in the hip hop clothing market and, in my mind, that gap was to be filled by my “Clifford the Big Red Dog” streetwear line.  It’s hard to talk about now, but just know I was pushing Clifford HARD and was looking a little too blooded for my own good.  I don’t want to talk about it anymore.  It’s too much.

8. Getting Emotional Over Fonts

The tears that were gushed in 2005 when I couldn’t type my Common App in Helvetica could fill a medium-sized aquarium.  Don’t even start with me, Kanye.

7. The Finger-Smooshing Thing

It’s neither original nor cute, Kanye.  A lot of people don’t know this, but I know for a fact that the airplane is much bigger than you are.  There is NO way you could squish that airplane with your 2 fingers.  I had a lot of free time during that summer of 2005 and this is one thing I discovered.  Stop pretending like you can smoosh planes with your fingers, Mr. West; It’s extremely disrespectful to the airline industry.

6. Hinting at an Illuminati Membership, while Wholeheartedly Denying an Illuminati Membership

I’m in the illuminati, I’m 100% in the illuminati, please someone save me from myself too many secrets, TOO MANY SECRETS, egypt masons pyramids sphinx king tut thomas jefferson da vinci code washington dc glenn beck  dollar bill, it’s a trap it’s a trap get out while you can ahhhh help free t.i.

The illuminati isn’t real.  And even if it was, why would I have been initiated in 2005 after leading my high school basketball team to a 1-25 record?  The illuminati has no room for losers like me, not that it even exists or has weekly meetings at Whole Foods or anything…

5. Going somewhere exotic to make a classic album

Kanye and his crew went to a remote section of Hawaii in 2010 to record My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. This move added even more mystery to the highly awaited album. End result, a classic album.

In 2005, my crew and I jetted over to a remote, gritty, unheardof section of Mexico called “Barcelo Maya”.  Armed with only a sprinkle of parental supervision and the belief that 18 year olds are indestructable, nothing short of perfection was achieved over the course of 8 days.  The end result, a classic album.

“SB05 LETS DOOOOO THIS” was my Illmatic on Facebook.  My first and greatest photo album, and the album I have unsuccessfully tried to top for the past 5 years.

4. Using “Art” as a round-about ruse to hold hands/kiss a pretty girl

This one i’m not even mad at Kanye for.  I’m completely under the impression that the 35-minute Runaway movie, the entire album, and his career in general has been a way for Kanye to one day have the opportunity to dress up Selita Ebanks in tissue paper, feathers, and corn flakes and convince her, in the name of art, to hold his hand and eventually kiss him.

I won’t lie and say I successfully pulled off one of these schemes, but in 2005 I got pretty close.  Unfortunately for me, they thought Nick Cannon would do a better job as the lead in Drumline, thus ruining my dreams of ever having a quiet moment with my favorite future Na’vi princess.

Reason #205,392 that I beef with Nick Cannon. (Here’s reason 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

3. Making Demands via Signage

Exhibit A: Kanye’s Studio — 2010

Exhibit B: My Bedroom — 2005

That’s all.

2. Obsession with Ballerinas

Have you ever seen the feet of a legit ballerina?  I’m not talking about someone that takes ballet classes, I’m talking straight up BALLERINA.  In 2005, I remember seeing the feet of a ballerina friend of mine and instantly realizing that she was in the realest profession known to man.  Since then, I’ve been obsessed with hyping up ballerinas as the most hardcore people on earth.

This was 5 years before Kanye started traveling with a 40-ballerina posse and 5.5 years before the Black Swan further stressed the fact that you should not mess with ballerinas.

1. Using Gil-Scott Heron to Explain My True Feelings

Who Will Survive in America?
Who Will Survive in America?
Who Will Survive in America?
Who Will Survive in America?

Kanye has been heavily applauded for concluding his album with a Gil-Scott Heron snippet, titled “Who Will Survive in America.” It’s pretty interesting tactic in letting someone else’s words conclude your masterpiece.  It’s especially interesting to me, because I had the same idea for concluding my high school graduation speech five years earlier.

After talking about how much my school meant to me and about the wonderful commmunity that molded me into the person I was, I planned on bringing it home like so:

So here we are, Class of 2005, at our first true life crossroads.
You can choose to either do what’s comfortable from here on out
Or you can be brash, bold, and truly live life to the fullest.
Either way, at the end of the day, just know that
the revolution will not be televised,
the revolution will not be televised
will not be televised, will not be televised
The revolution will be no re-run brothers;
The revolution will be live.
Good luck, Class of 2005.  We’re gonna need it.

The militant ending to my high-school graduation speech never made it past the drawing board, but in an alternate universe, I would have given it with a black glove on my right fist, a wooden Africa necklace dangling atop my dashiki, and subsequently would have been handed a blank piece of paper for a diploma.

Woulda. Coulda. Shoulda.

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About Rembert Browne

NYC via ATL //// rembert.browne@gmail.com 500daysasunder.wordpress.com
This entry was posted in 10 Most Popular, Lists, Music and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Top 10 Ideas I created in 2005 that Kanye stole in 2010

  1. Pingback: Top 11 Contributions to the Internet | 500 Days Asunder

  2. CONSPIRACY THEORIST says:

    UMMMM WHO ARE YOU??? SOUNDS LIKE A NON-MFKN FACTOR 2 ME! KANYE DONT KNOW YOU FOOL! LOL

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