State of the Union 2: My Beautiful Dark Twisted Live Blog

Sorry Atlanta, not talking about you this Wednesday. It’s SOTU TIME
************************************************
8:45pm — 95 blocks away from my house. This isn’t good.

8:58pm — Just leaving 59th… Would be bummed, but Kaleidoscope just came on shuffle.

9:08pm — Made it. Watching on NBC, duh. Blue tie? Wrong again. I can’t believe it started on time. I thought it’d be late, because… you know… he’s… Hawaiian.

9:09pm — Michelle is so purty.

9:10pm — Making a guess — Boehner, Giffords, Honoring Soldiers and then the speech.

9:12pm — 2 for 3, not bad.

9:14pm — “Sit together tonight, stand together tomorrow.” – great line.

9:20pm — Cought McCain not clapping. Such a snitch.

9:22pm — “Out innovate, out educate and out build the rest of the world.” – I’m in to it.

9:23pm — How does these random kids get tickets to the SOTU? Golden Ticket? Scratch-off?

9:24pm — Biden and Boehner look Herman Munster and Black Herman Munster.

9:26pm — Had no idea Boehner was darker than Obama. It’s startling.

9:27pm — Boehner is starting to blend in with that mahogony seat cover.

9:27pm — 2035… That’s so far away, Barack. Malia will be on the Real Housewives of Pandora by then.

9:28pm — Talking about parents. Yes. Thank you. I don’t care about Sputnik, this is how we change the world. Parents and teachers.

9:29pm — “High expectations for schools, high performance by teachers and students.” – yes yes yes.

9:30pm — Ohhhh, Biden fake out clap. I saw that, Joe.

9:31pm — “Replace NCLB.” – There we go, Barry. Preach.

9:33pm — Still talking about parents, teachers — “Time we treated the people who educate our children w/ the same level of respect” — nation builders. BOOM. Yes, ahhh I love Obama. “Want to reward good teachers and stop making excuses for bad ones.” I’m loving this speech.

9:35pm — Biden just smiled at his girl when Barry started talking about community colleges. So cute.

9:36pm — On undocumented workers: “They had nothing to do w/ the actions of their parents. Every day, fear of deportation.” – He went there. Well done.

9:36pm — “Expelling talented that could be further enriching our nation.” – troof.

9:37pm — I miss Ted Kennedy. A lot.

9:38pm — High Speed Rail, babyyyy. Obama says we can get places faster than by plane. “Like flying w/o the pat down” – TSA = SERVED.

9:39pm — OMG LETS TAKE HIGH SPEED RAIL TO COACHELLA.

9:40pm — I don’t miss seeing Pelosi. She always looks like she’s got 17 sweet tarts in her mouth.

9:41pm — Obama just misplaced a modifier. This guy is not educated.

9:42pm — Ron Kirk looks like Sam Jackson who looks like Mr. Magoo

9:43pm — I think Boehner has a Tamagachi in his hand.

9:44pm — Rep. Clyburn always looks like a country preacher. I love it, please don’t see that as an insult.

9:44pm — Did they let Rangel in?

9:44pm — Old girl in the neon green pants suit must be a rep from Florida. Please take that as an insult.

9:45pm — I love Obama… admitting his own mistakes. Such a leader.

9:47pm — Boehner is so over it.

9:48pm — “Freeze Spending” got 6 claps. Only immediate family claps.

9:50pm — Airplane analogy was so bad, DL Hughley must have written it.

9:53pm — SCHUMAHHHHHHHH

9:54pm — Haha, Obama said “information age”. Come on, it’s 2011. Time to throw away that AOL 2.0 Floppy Disk.

9:55pm — Obama made a joke. Boehner wants to laugh so bad. SO BAD. BAHAHAHAHA

9:55pm — SOTU = Def Comedy Jam

10:00pm — “Tah-lee-bahn.” Who knew.

10:01pm — Biden’s got something in his ear. I hope he gets it by 10:10pm

10:01pm — “Pah-kee-stahn.” Go figure.

10:03pm — Boehner shut down World Star Hip Hop. What a jerk.

10:03pm — Obama sounds more and more like Fred Armisen.

10:04pm — “Sue-dahn.” Really Barry?

10:05pm — Sen. Patty Murray like Beeker from the Muppets.

10:07pm — Wow. The military is not feeling DADT. Not a one.

10:08pm — “Starting this year, no American will be forbidden from serving the country they love because of who they love.” – Big statement, Barack.

10:09pm — Ugh, I Love BIDEN. SCRANTON IN DA HOUSE.

10:10pm — You got me Obama… I thought you were about to bite your ’04 speech about “a skinny kid w/ a funny name”… and then you talked about Biden and Boehner. Wow. You got me. You’re my president.

10:12pm — “We Do Big Things” – Obama sounds like DJ Khaled.

10:13pm — Boom. 3 pronged speech.. finished w/ a 3 pronged ending. And a mixed-seated audience. Boom. Wonderful.

10:17pm — Look at all these freshman senators… trying to get autographs… Like some groupies…

10:20pm — I love the fact Pat Lahey is his bodyguard. Great evening.

Favorite Mid-SOTU Tweets:
@daynatella “become a teacher” — but obama, i don’t like children. but want them to do better. nowwhat.org.”

@deemars “I bet at 10pm, approximately 3 million African Americans will turn off #SOTU to watch The Game.”

@gumplr “Internet, please make a .gif of Chuck Grassley sniffing his fingers.”

@TheRealTanner “I’m wondering if egotastic.com photographers are there to capture a congressional nipple slip or some side titty #sotu”

@E_Harp_ “‘We do big things.'” Cue Jeezy.”

@habermania “brian williams 4 prez”

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About Rembert Browne

NYC via ATL //// rembert.browne@gmail.com 500daysasunder.wordpress.com
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