(Sorry, JET WEEK… you’re done. It’s not February anymore…)
Lent, like yogurt, has been a relatively recent blip on my radar.
While I do have a churchgoing family, conversations of what one was giving up for Lent were not dinner-time conversations in my house. Not until very recently, maybe since the end of college, did I notice people frantically scrambling for Lent sacrifices.
This is the first year I’m considering the idea of seriously observing Lent, but as my friends and I realized in a late-night Lent brainstorming session, I don’t understand how to do it.
For one, I feel as if there’s a subtle difference between New Year’s Resolutions and Lent, but I can’t put my finger on it.
In addition to that, I can’t decide what I should really give up. I’ve always assumed every thing I do is sort of good and sort of bad (eating, not sleeping, jaywalking, wearing all red in Harlem).
I need help, ASAP. I have about 7 hours to decide on something and so far, I’m striking out like Jeff Franceour circa always.
FAILED LENT IDEAS: Giving Up…
Talking like Bill Cosby
Taking cabs to Popeye’s
Referring to myself as “The Big Guy” in business meetings.
Calling Popeye’s and begging them to deliver
Texting my Mom at 4am
Reading the Huffington Post
Teaching toddlers how to curse
Acknowledging Ray-J’s existence
Saying “Go White Girl, It’s your Birthday” to my professors.
Skipping class to play Apples To Apples
Jumping over cars to hail cabs, while screaming “BLAKKEEEEEEE”
Wearing basketball shorts under my jeans
Attaching pictures of Prince w/ my resume and cover letter.
Please help me. Send me ideas, quickly, or I’m doomed for another year of heathenism.