Top 10 Lost and Not Found

Because of the continued success of the Stankoff 2011, my friend (and occasional voice of reason) Josie decided to mess with my brain a little bit and gchat me this message:

You better follow up with some good stuff over the next couple days. No slacking. Or you’re going to lose all these followers.

I read it and was like, she’s right. I’ve got to come bigger and better than ever on the next post. Like, epic times 6 or something.

So I sat down and, for the first time in my life, tried to write epic times 6.

Now, if you’ve never tried to do this, let me tell you, it’s nearly impossible. Well, let me not project my inadequacies on others, I found it nearly impossible. I sat in front of my laptop for 2 hours and all things the opposite of “epic times 6” came to mind. So, at 3:30pm, I decided to go back to what I know I’m decent at, writing about things I think my friends will enjoy, which thankfully usually translates into others liking it as well.

Here it is. Enjoy.

I tend to not buy a lot of expensive things (expensive doesn’t equal fresh). I behave in this way for 2 reasons, 1) because if money does grow on trees, my bank account is a dead shrub, and 2) things have a habit of leaving my person. There are very few things that I lose permamently, but every now and then, precious finds are forever lost.

In order to take a trip down memory lane at the ones that got away, I looked at every single one of my Facebook pictures. For some of you, that might not seem like such a daunting task, but take this into consideration: April 17th, 2011 marks 66 months since I added my first picture on

Oh nothing, just twin day. And dont mind the cargo sweatpants, shirt, tie, leather jacket, and backwards hat.

I went through 5.5 years of pictures and found the 10 best items I once owned that are either in a gutter somewhere or being happily enjoyed by another fellow human.  I recommend everyone undertaking this activity, especially if your Facebook career included all 4 years of college. Despite the massive amounts of nostalgia, you won’t be sorry.

10. Lebanon (NH) High School LAX Jersey – Last Seen: August 17, 2008

I didn’t really know what lacrosse was until I went to Dartmouth, but once there, I quickly became obsessed with the sport. This obsession had nothing to do with the actual games, but more with the oddly-shaped jerseys they wore. Midriff-baring and wider than an average doorway is probably the best way to describe them. Anyway, they quickly became an easy supplament for the standard basketball jersey and whenever I could find one, I’d wear it out. The funny thing about wearing lacrosse jerseys… and being Black… is that it sometimes confuses people.  I once wore this jersey out and about in NYC (My friend, Matt, can attest to this) and I walk by an older Black guy. When we are a bout to cross paths, he clearly looks me up and down and says, “Lacrosse? Really, brother?” and keeps walking. I know it seems small, but it was one of the greatest moments of my life. 

9. Boise Hawks (Minor League Baseball) Fitted Cap – Last Seen: Sept 10, 2009

A few weeks after graduation, I went on a loop of the country road trip with 3 of the greater guys alive. One of our more epic stops was in Boise, ID for a minor league baseball game. We had the afternoon of our lives (see picture below), saw a walk-off single, and walked out the stadium with a serious amount of gear.

My Boise Hawks hat was my favorite hat for the rest of the summer, but it just couldn’t handle NYC. I miss her so much.

8. Pink and Teal Long Sleeve Polo Last Seen: July 4, 2008

That kid to the left, Saji, is one of the coolest kids I know. This was the day we officially met and apparently I got too excited because that’s the last known photo of probably my most commonly worn shirt, ever. I’d dress it up, dress it down, wear it to a barbeque, wear it to church, play tennis in it, go to Staples in it, just everything. Saji, if you have this shirt, let me know ASAP and maybe I’ll go easy  on your beat down. 

7. “We Run ATL” T-Shirt – Last Seen: May 13, 2007

Not going to lie, when I bought this shirt earlier in 2007, I thought I was the coolest kid in the world. And then when I started wearing it extremely frequently in New Hampshire, I thought I was somehow even cooler than before. Something interesting happened, however, as I wore the shirt more and more. Maybe due to Atlanta’s rising crime rate, people started making fun of the shirt, saying it stood for “We Run from the Cops in ATL”, “We Criminals. ATL.”, “We Stab While We Run in ATL”, etc. I was never a huge fan of that, but kept wearing it regardless. This photo, taken at a Girl Talk show, was the last time I wore this shirt, which doesn’t surprise me because it was 200 degrees in the room, he mixed in a Petey Pablo sample, and I am never one to disobey lyrical orders from Mr. Pablo.

6. Vintage Le Coq Sportif T-ShirtLast Seen: Nov. 10, 2007

In addition to being a hooper that peaked when he was 12, I grew up playing tennis. Because of that, I have a passion for old tennis brands, like Ellesse, Fred Perry, and of course Le Coq Sportif. When I found this shirt at a thrift store in NH, I flipped out and proceeded to wear it whenever I could. I can’t remember what happened to this shirt for the life of me, but I pretty sure someone asked to borrow it and never returned it. If I could remember who it was, please believe her name was be on BLAST RIGHT HERE  ____________.

5. Captain Crunch HatLast Seen: Mar. 30, 2007

While the aforementioned Josie (above) has managed to temporarily own a few of my things, not even this hat would I purposefully part with. It was ill-fitting, too small, had a distorted brim, and made me feel like a 6 year old. With all of that said, it was my favorite hat. College is not the time to ever take yourself seriously and that Cap’n Crunch hat was my way of expressing that sentiment. This picture was taken 2 days after my 20th birthday, so maybe post-bday shenanigans led to its disappearance, but honestly I hope a 5 year old has it and is having the time of his/her life. 

4. Black Album Jay-Z Shirt Last Seen: Aug. 27, 2010

This shirt marks the first time in my life I bought a piece of clothing because of a specific event. The event was my birthday and I wanted a fly shirt. I had never done that previously and have yet to do it again. With all of that said, it’s the sickest shirt ever because all of the lyrics of The Black Album are written on the shirt. I wore it once a week during the Spring and Summer (this party included), but during an early Fall trip up to Hanover, we lost each other. I know someone, right now, is wearing that shirt at my alma mater and while part of me wishes that person the worst, the majority of me wishes him/her the best.

3. ATL/Jeezy T-ShirtLast Seen: Jan 3, 2007

I loved wearing this shirt with hoodies, because just from the front it looks like a simple ATL shirt. As the day/night would wear on, however, said hoodie would get taken off and the back would be revealed:

I let a friend borrow it once and have never gotten it back. I saw it pop up a few times in her Facebook pictures throughout college, but never was it returned to me. What I will say is that she wears it very well and I know ever time she puts it on, she at least has to remember who she got/stole it from. I guess that’ll do.

2. Miami Dolphins Starter JacketLast Seen: Feb. 19, 2007

Being from the South, I didn’t really understand how to dress for a New England winter.  I didn’t really like big coats, because they were bulky and ugly, so I usually resorted to wearing 9 layers. For a portion of college, my outermost layer was a not-so-thick Miami Dolphins jacket. I loved it, not only because it went perfectly (in my mind) with the other teal shirts previously mentioned, but it also had a shine to it that I loved. I went up that weekend from my internship in DC and I’m pretty sure it didn’t make it back to DC, which is a shame because there’s nothing better than a Congressional Staffer in a shiny teal starter jacket. 

1. Vintage Malcolm X SnapbackLast Seen: Mar. 8, 2008

No, that’s not a Blood, that’s me. And yes, your eyes aren’t fooling you, that is a vintage early-90s Malcolm X snapback. If you’ve ever read anything on this blog, you understand how much Malcolm means to me, so finding this hat was the highlight of my year and losing it the next year was that year’s lowlight. I mean, look at it. It’s perfect. After losing that hat, I vowed to start seriously collecting Malcolm X gear, all with the goal of one day stumbling upon this hat. If the day comes, I will be the happiest man alive, but until then, there is a small part of me that will never be complete.

Thank you for going down this road to recovery with me. And please note, if you have one of the previously mentioned items, it’s much easier to just hand them over. Pretty Please? TRUST ME.

About Rembert Browne

NYC via ATL ////
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4 Responses to Top 10 Lost and Not Found

  1. Derek says:

    I came here from The Awl for the Stankoff and now having read this post I want to follow your blog. But, I can’t find the RSS link?? Please help, I don’t do twitter and want to keep up with your shit.

  2. doorr says:

    I can’t believe I’m only noticing now your perma-moustache

  3. Keri says:

    Is it bad that I REALLY hope that a couple of these items are not returned? Namely the Lacrosse jersey and the Pink & Teal Polo shirt. I’m on the fence on the Cap’n Crunch hat.

  4. Pingback: Reason #1, #2, and #3 to Have a Blog | 500 Days Asunder

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