My Future: Via MASH

Disclaimer: If you don’t know what MASH is, you are excused from the smackdown only if you were born before 1982.

If you are 29 or younger and don’t know what I’m talking about, however, you will be beaten.

To put it plainly, MASH (Mansion, Apartment, Shack, House) is the only way to find out what will happen when you grow up. MASH is always right and should not be treated lightly.

It’s not a game. It’s your future.

Anyway, I hadn’t played MASH in a while, because some things have fallen on my plate since ’98. That was, until yesterday, when m’gurl Grace sent me a link to this:

This is easily the greatest thing on the internet.

After staring at it in amazement and fear, I knew I had to fill it out and roll the dice.

After picking my Magic Number (77, duh) it was time to see what the rest of my life would look like.


*WATCH WITH SOUND*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*

The Storyline:

And you didn’t believe me when I said MASH wasn’t a game.

This, for better or for worse, has a 97% chance of playing out.

-I already assumed in 15 years I’d be driving around Atlanta in a two-tone hologram Maybach.
-The chances of a NOT Rashida Jones riding shotgun with 3 beautiful kids & 1 in the trunk is also comically high.
-As for Jobs… sigh.

You watched it go between Mayor and Corrupt Mayor. You saw that go down, right?

I always thought I’d one day be the one to save my city in the most honorable way possible. Now, I’m not to say MASH is wrong, but I have seen Minority Report 21 times and I know it is possible to change your pre-destined fate if you try hard enough.

I WILL NOT BE A CORRUPT MAYOR WITH A TWO-TONED HOLOGRAM MAYBACH LIVING IN AN APARTMENT ON CASCADE ROAD WITH MY 4 BEAUTIFUL KIDS AND MY SHORTY WITH THE 404 CELL PHONE NUMBER.

I WILL BE A GOOD MAYOR WITH A TWO-TONED HOLOGRAM MAYBACH LIVING IN AN APARTMENT ON CASCADE ROAD WITH MY 4 BEAUTIFUL KIDS AND MY SHORTY WITH THE 404 CELL PHONE NUMBER.

Sorry I’m not sorry, MASH. You going down, son.

About these ads

About Rembert Browne

NYC via ATL //// rembert.browne@gmail.com 500daysasunder.wordpress.com
This entry was posted in "Scholarly Research", Rando. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to My Future: Via MASH

  1. modi says:

    LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

  2. Keri says:

    You need a hobby and those of us born before ’82 played the low-tech version.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s