Item: High Top Jordans
Purchased: Fall 2010
Worth to Me: Complete Burden
Price: 80 dolos
Anyone want a pair of Jordan’s?
If you don’t mind a combination of dirt, pot soil, dijon mustard, syrup, blue spray paint, Keystone Light, tears, sweat, and spinach deeply engrained in your shoes, I’ve got the pair of kicks for you.
In all seriousness, I can’t put them on anymore. 5 days in Hanover, the dirtiest, nastiest, most beautifulest, heavenly place on Earth, has permanently ruined one of my favorite pairs of shoes ever. I took them off last night and my feet looked like Sam Cassell. Yeah.
Once I got back to New York, I tied them together and threw them over some power lines. Two seconds later, they fell on my head and concussed me. Apparently, the smell disintegrated the wires, knocking out all of Harlem’s power. Oops.
Someone help me. I’d rather barefoot tapdance through West/East/South/North Baltimore than put them back on.