The Rules of Social Media

I will be the first to say that I genuinely want Google+ to take out Twitter and Facebook in about 6 months.

I think it’s great, I will soon have my entire life synced, and after the virus I received on Twitter (and my quick, slightly regrettable deactivation), I need one platform to do as close to everything as possible.

With that said, I don’t think it’s for everyone. Nothing’s for everyone. (bowling is pretty crunk…) Multiple platforms exist because people have different relationships and different histories with the internet.

Use the below descriptions to determine which medium(s) you would most/least thrive in.

These aren’t my opinions. These are facts.

***************************************

***SOCIAL NETWORKING***

Google+
If You’re: Employed, have/had Twitter, and have been on Facebook for at least 5 years.

Twitter
If You’re: Someone that has no appreciation for the English language AND is saving up hope for the off-chance Bieber/Kanye/Gaga/Cory Booker hits you up and wants to chill.

Facebook
If You’re: Someone that actively wants more fake friends than real friends.

***BLOGGING***

Tumblr
If You: Own a digital camera, are illiterate, and openly admit to a multi-decade porn addiction.

WordPress
If You’re: An only child, extremely pretentious, loves the sound/sight of their own voice/words.

Blogspot
If You’re: EITHER in the first 1% of bloggers on Earth or was just given a laptop by a concerned family member 6 days ago and your first search was “internet write without paper or pencil”.

***WORST OF THE REST***

LinkedIn
If You: Have no friends… and want friends… but will ultimately have no friends. 

AIM
If You Still Are: Cryogenically frozen.

Myspace
If You Were: Cryogenically frozen, thawed out, tarred and feathered in a Radio Shack, ostracized in a public square, and then given a computer and ordered to make masochistic internet decisions.
*****************************************

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About Rembert Browne

NYC via ATL //// rembert.browne@gmail.com 500daysasunder.wordpress.com
This entry was posted in Lists. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to The Rules of Social Media

  1. wpacker says:

    HOW CAN I +1 THIS!?

  2. Pingback: Why You Should Use Sonar

  3. Michelle says:

    Do you know about Sonar? I linked your brilliant piece in my review of this app, from fellow a Dartmouth-ian.
    http://newyork.untappedcities.com/2011/07/21/why-you-should-use-sonar/

    I would also like to +1 this.

  4. doorr says:

    i am SUCH an only child

  5. Pingback: Why You Should Use Sonar | Untapped Cities

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