Greatest. Comment. Ever.

There’s a dude out there named Trey Smith. Every time I’ve been in DC this summer, I’ve run into Trey.

The first time we met, I was introduced as “The guy who made the Jay-Z bracket

When Trey heard this, he immediately gave me a ton of respect, and then went on to wax poetic about the many things I did wrong.

He said he needed some time to think it over, but was going to email me his manifesto the next morning.

5 weeks later, it finally graced my inbox. Only a handful of emails have ever made me as happy as this one.

There have been more than 300 comments left on my blog, but this one takes the cake. 

10 Best Moments of the Email (with my running commentary)

10. “There’s a couple guys who have clearly been to prison yelling foul shit at each other, so excuse some spelling errors. Ok? Ok. Let’s go.” DC’s a rough city.

9. “Roc Boys doesn’t beat Allure. For the reasons I stated before, Allure’s reach is just too expansive to deny. Roc Boys is more about a life you WANT to live, Allure is about the life you are living. Nothing in that division except “What More Can I Say” could beat Allure, but DOA doesn’t beat that. I understand how risky DOA was, but if Jay said that eating rocks was swag the majority of people would be walking around with mouths full of gravel.” I have, on multiple occasions, stated that I probably made a mistake about knocking out Allure. Probably. Regarding the comment on the gravel, he’s exactly correct.

8. “No way Empire State of Mind beats Takeover. Takeover is a top 5 diss track and Jay at his lyrical best. And that menacing ass beat? Shit. Like, there’s not even a dimension that exists where that outcome is a possibility. It doesn’t happen.” FALSE FALSE FALSE. (I’m listening to Ether as I type this)

7. “Not sure if “Dead Pres 2” beats “Can I Live, but I’ll let you cook” I don’t know how to stop cooking.  

6. “Considering the seeds of the songs, no problem with how the Holla Back division played out. Well done on that one.” Pretty excited about this. 

5. “‘Lucifer’ beats ‘D’evils’ I know you said it makes you want to live stand up life. But if you listen closely Lucifer does that too. Especially the last verse. It’s like, this is where the life we’ve chosen has brought us. I wish I could take it back, but I can’t. Don’t be me. This is just beautiful. This man needs a blog, ASAP. 

4. “‘Nigga What’ is an Elite 8 song. That beat, Amil on the hook, his flow. Goddamn Based God. ‘Aint No’ may have aged better in a commercial sense, but still. You’re really gonna tell me your mind wasn’t blown the first time you heard “Nigga What”? Oh, ok. “Oh, Ok” = one of the more under-utilized tools used to patronize others out there. Respect.

3. “‘Renegade’ beats P.S.A. If we’re talking about just the song. But that’s mostly cause of Eminem’s contribution. So once again, continue to cook. For those of you counting out there, that’s 3 Lil B references. Woooo Woooo SWAG.

2. “So based on my changes, the Final Four would be “Nigga What” v “Big Pimpin” & “You Don’t Kno”w v “Allure”. The Final would be “You Don’t Know” v “Big Pimpin”. And I really don’t know who wins that. I just flipped a coin to decide (which can be the best, but usually worst, way to make major life decisions. I’m 50/50 with this method but that’s a whole nother conversation) and “You Don’t Know” won. So yeah. That’s all I got. All in all, great job. I’m too ADD to take anything like this on so hats off to you. Can’t wait to see your bracket of Kanye beats (not songs, beats). I can’t be mad at this final four. Is it wrong? Yes. But I’m not mad at it. Not one bit. 

1. “Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry” Dedication. 

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About Rembert Browne

NYC via ATL //// rembert.browne@gmail.com 500daysasunder.wordpress.com
This entry was posted in Lists. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Greatest. Comment. Ever.

  1. modi says:

    trey and rembert. no joke, you guys teamed up could create a problem.

  2. Cecil says:

    i LOLed at comment #1.

  3. Mike Walbert says:

    enjoyed the last 3 minutes of my life

  4. comment number 1 is redic.

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