Note: At this point, I’m not even sure if what I wrote will get published this week or next week.
If I were you, I wouldn’t get your hopes up. Actually, I’d start to believe I made the whole thing.
I might have made the whole thing.
I’m not bringing it up again until I see it on the interwebs.
Now, on to the issue of the day:
5 Favorite Denzel Scenes:
5. You remember that time in Training Day when Ethan Hawke is like confused about where Denzel got his car and then is like, “where’s the office, back at division” and Denzel looks at him, gun in hand, and with that Denzel blank stare is like, “you in the office, baby”, “Still DRE” immediately comes on, and then proceeds to turn up the hydraulics and ride out like a G.
4. You remember that time in He Got Game when he was walking on Coney Island with Ray Allen, talking about Earl Monroe and how they used to call him Jesus, but then the media couldn’t just call him Jesus and they had to call him Black Jesus and then tells Ray Ray that that’s why he got his name and then Lil Jesus was like, “you named me after that Jesus and not the real Jesus” and Denzel was like, “Naw man, not Jesus from the Bible, Jesus from North Philadelphia”
3. You remember that time in American Gangster when he is like sitting in his robe with that Denzel pout on and then out of no where he does the Denzel chest beat and says “they tried to kill my wife” and then slumps back into Denzel pout.
2. You remember that time in Remember the Titans when the White kids and the Black kids kept fighting, so to teach them a lesson, Denzel like takes them on a run through the swamp and they ended up at Gettysburg and he begins to compare the boys on the team to the boys who died in battle and just as he reaches his climax the disney music starts and Denzel starts to get real deep tells them that he doesn’t care if they like each other but they have to learn to respect each other and then chumps them all by telling them to start playing this game like men.
1. You remember that time in Malcolm X when he was a Muslim and that guy got beat up and sent to the hospital and he got mad and brought the Fruit out to the hospital and they were in line and the police chief was like “disperse this mob” and Denzel is all like, “The Fruit are peaceful men” and then does that Denzel smile, turned around and raised his leather glove hand and pointed and the Fruit turned to the left army style and started marching out and the police guy was like “no one ‘slim should have all that power”