Internet: Conquered

The man hasn’t been on Twitter for a full work week and has already won the internet.

Legend.

DC, do you see that man dancing? He’s your next mayor again again.

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3:25AM: World vs. CNN

BBC

Al Jazeera 

CNN
CNN US

Interesting.
Very Interesting.

Bless You, Screenshots.

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Everybody Got Somebody Gay In They House

Fat Joe, On Rap and Homosexuality — A Transcript

******************************

Yeah, I think I’ve done songs with gay rappers. I’m pretty sure of that.

I’m pretty sure the football niggas is gay.

Basketball niggas is gay.

Niggas is gay.

It’s millions of gay people… In the world… Girls too.

Like,

we,

you know,

they just,

 for some reason,

Once again I’m not a fan of that shit either.

I’m a fan of “Yo, I’m gay, what the fuck?

Like 2011, you gotta hide that you’re gay? Like, you know what I’m saying — Be Real.

Like, “I’m gay, what the fuck?

If you gay, you gay.

Like, that’s your preference. You know, fuck it if the people don’t like it.

*******

[About Hip Hop]

It’s the greatest gay market in the world.

It’s owned — the hip hop community is most likely

owned by GAY.

To be honest with you. They’re

owned by GAY.

I happen to think there is a gay mafia in hip hop–Not rappers.

You know, the editorial presidents of magazines, the–the PDs at radio stations, the–the people that give you awards at award shows, the–

This is a fucking gay mafia, my man.

You know what I’m saying. They are in power.

So why wouldn’t a guy come out and say

yo, I’m gay

And get that type of love?

I mean, Lady Gaga —

I don’t know if she’s gay but she’s running with that gay shit FOR REAL.

And

she

 is

winning.

Rap music, nah it ain’t no different.

EVERYBODY GOT SOMEBODY GAY IN THEY HOUSE.

…In they family.

I’m not saying in their same house but in their family somebody got somebody gay. So I don’t know.

I think it’s 2011 going on 2012. I think if you’re gay,

Rep your set.

******************************************

Words by Joseph Antonio Cartagena

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An 137-Word Time Capsule

Every now and then, someone sends me an email, wanting to vent about how wrong/right one of my blog posts is. Usually it’s about either the Outkast or Jay brackets. I got one a few weeks ago, and what came with this email was a paragraph that made me happier than pretty much anything, even though the point was to tell me I was wrong in my decision-making process.

*********************************************

Then Player’s Ball dropped right before Christmas. Everything I knew and everyone I knew changed instantly. Real hip-hop artists that sounded like me and talked about things that I talked about.

The part where T-Boz says:

 “The playas in Decatur”

I just beamed with pride. Everybody couldn’t wait till that ‘Kast dropped.

In Freaknik ’94, the OutKast promotional van pulls up as I’m trying to convince somebody’s daughter to give me their phone number. I sprinted to the truck, and never did get that phone number. I ended up getting five cassettes 6 weeks before you could buy the album.

Two weeks later, I had the entire tape memorized; I still have it memorized to this day. I have been hooked on OutKast ever since.

All of that was to given to say, “Southernplayalisticadillacmuzic” was not OutKast’s best single.

*********************************************

There is a fat tear about to fall out of my left eye.

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What Are They Looking At?

Yesterday, NYMag reported that Reggie Love is leaving the White House as Obama’s BFFForever. They dedicated a slideshow to their relationship. The image below is one of the photos.

I saw this and immediately thought:

WHAT
ARE
THEY
LOOKING
AT

The NYMag sidebar mentions “David After Dentist” as the culprit, but I know that koolaid smile Reggie’s got, and it’s definitely not for “David After Dentist”. As to get to the bottom of this, I immediately sent out an email and the responses couldn’t have been more epic. The two (very different) finalists:

1. This Maury Povich Moment

Submitted by J. Lowe

Defense by Mr. Lowe:

 I’m happy to take the time to write you back with what I am POSITIVE is the video that they are watching. They’ve all seen it before, and so they know what they are about to see, but the real excitement hasn’t begun yet. They are probably right at second :04, and they are about to be rolling on the floor laughing aka ROFLing.

vs.

2. This Arsenio Hall Moment

Submitted by C. Ryan

 Defense by Mr. Browne

You know how older people still don’t understand that everything from the past has made it onto YouTube. I bet Obama and Gibbs were talking smack about Clinton and one of them brought up the Arsenio episode. Obama probably said, “Gosh, what I would give to watch that right now.” Reggie, being the 80s baby that he is, hears this, pulls out a laptop and within 90 seconds is taking these old fellas down memory lane. What a bensch (Black Mensch, duh)

I’m not picking a winner. It’s Friday. The winner isn’t important, but please know that the answer is one of these two. #pleasebemaury #pleasebemaury

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Who’s Photobombing Who?

I JUST DON’T KNOW

THIS IS THE HARDEST DECISION OF MY WEEK

AHHHHH

Thank you for sending this to me today. Thank you so much.

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Soula Coaster: The Diary of ME

THIS IS HAPPENING. NEXT WEEK.

NOT AN ALBUM.

A BOOK.

WITH WORDS, I’M GUESSING.

Yes Sir.
(this will, undoubtedly, get very bad. very quickly.)

**********************************************************

“I Believe I Can Write” – (Courtesy of Lauren Bans)

“When A Woman’s Read Up”

“OMG LOOK AT ALL THESE MICROPHONES”

“Readin’ On Your Booty: The Story of Robert”

“Down Low (Nobody Has To Know That I Know How To Read or Write)”

“Thoia Thoing”

“Nignition: The Diary of ME”

“Glee-esta: I Can Finally Smile”

“Trapped in World’s Greatest, Happiest Closet… LIFE”

“I Don’t Want To Piss On You: Robert on Robert”

“Chi Believe Chi Can Chi” (note: this is terrible. absolutely terrible. i want to delete it, but i’m in the mood to publicly shame myself.)

and

“12 Play: My Life In Twelve Freaky-Dekey Chapters (An Illustrated Pop-Up Book)”

***************************************************************

I can’t wait to read this next week. In one sitting.

Sorry, T.I., but you might get bumped from the desk to the bookshelf.

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